Learning to Breathe Under It

# A Personal Reflection on Living with Depression: Maintenance and Learning to Stay Afloat

Content note: This post discusses depression and suicide statistics.

Understanding Depression

Depression is a weighted blanket that’s just a little too heavy to push off. It feels like being trapped underwater, with wave after wave crashing down on you while you try to hold onto the last ounce of breath. This feeling can leave you stuck, unable to ever fully escape.

In the article “Depression,” published by Salem Press Encyclopedia of Health in 2024, it is stated that depression is “one of the most common psychiatric disorders to occur in most lifetimes.” The National Institute of Mental Health reported that in 2023, 8.4 percent of adults experienced a major depressive episode, whereas in 2021, only 8.3 percent of adults had experienced one. Millions of adults walk around having experienced a major depressive episode, feeling hopeless, lost, or even weak. It leaves them feeling trapped, as if under a cloak of shame.

The Impact of Suicide

According to the Institute of Health Metrics and Evaluation (IHME), about 740,000 deaths from suicide are reported each year, which is roughly one death every 43 seconds. These numbers aren’t distant statistics; they describe real lives interrupted. It isn’t abstract; it is specific. Every minute, roughly four males and six females require inpatient treatment due to suicide attempts. Behind these numbers are people who believe that if they could just make it through one more day, they could survive.

The article highlights that the rate of suicides is decreasing over time at a global level, but the progress is still not universal. Studies indicate that between 1990 and 2021, there was a decrease of at least 40 percent, suggesting that prevention and intervention are working.

My Journey with Depression

In my experience, managing depression requires a positive support system, therapy, and a healthy dose of SSRIs. Depression is a disorder that isn’t cured so much as it is maintained. I like to think of it as high-functioning depression. To me, that means dying a little inside but still hanging on long enough to finish the task at hand and move on to the next.

Trying to stay afloat while juggling work, home, relationships, parenting, aspirations, and mental illness can be overwhelming. The blanket never fully lifts, but some days, you learn to breathe under it.

The Daily Struggle

The world will always keep moving. For me, that means taking medication, answering messages, finishing each task as it comes my way, and continuing to float. On other days, it’s about staying glued to the computer, using the written word to help ground me through the lows.

I often reflect on the importance of self-care. It’s crucial to carve out moments for myself, even when it feels impossible. Whether it’s a quiet cup of tea in the morning or a walk outside, these small acts can make a significant difference.

Finding Support

Support is vital in this journey. Friends and family can provide a lifeline when the weight of depression feels too heavy. I’ve learned to reach out, even when it feels daunting. Sharing my feelings, even in small doses, can lighten the load.

Additionally, professional help is invaluable. Therapy has been a safe space for me to explore my thoughts and feelings. It’s a place where I can be honest without fear of judgment.

Embracing Hope

While the journey is challenging, I’ve come to embrace hope. There are days when the sun shines through the clouds, reminding me that brighter moments exist. I hold onto these moments tightly, allowing them to fuel my resilience.

I’ve also discovered the power of storytelling. Writing about my experiences helps me process my emotions. It’s a way to connect with others who may feel the same way. Sharing my story, even in a small blog post, can create a ripple effect of understanding and compassion.

Conclusion

Living with depression is a complex journey. It’s filled with ups and downs, but I’ve learned to navigate it with grace. I hope that by sharing my story, I can inspire others to seek help and find their own paths to healing.

If this topic feels close to home and you ever need someone to talk to, support is available in the U.S. by calling or texting 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

-Destany